The Ultimate Retroactive Jealousy Cure: How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner's Past In 12 Steps by Jeff Billings

Author:Jeff Billings
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: jealousy, retroactive jealousy, girlfriend's sexual past, overcoming retroactive jealousy, retroactive jealousy cure, retroactive jealousy ocd, wife's past bothers me, girlfriend's past, how to get over girlfriends past hookups, getting over girlfriend's past, overcoming retroactive jealousy book, retroactive jealousy book, extreme jealousy disorder, retroactive jealousy therapy, retroactive jealousy treatment, retroactive jealousy help, how to overcome jealousy of an ex, retroactive jealousy disorder, dealing with retroactive jealousy, retrograde jealousy, retrospective jealousy, jeff billings
Publisher: Jeff Billings
Published: 2017-11-13T00:00:00+00:00

STEP EIGHT

THEIR LIFE, THEIR CHOICE

“Sex between two people is a beautiful thing; between five it's fantastic.”

– Woody Allen

This step is specifically for those of you who are hung up about their partner’s sexual history, rather than their romantic history. So, if you couldn’t care less about your partner’s past one-night stands, sex buddies, threesomes, etc. and are more hung up on who they once dated or married, this step may not have much meaning for you. For those of you who are freaked out about your partner’s former sex life, however, keep reading.

As you probably know, the reason why you’re hung up about this is because you’re being judgmental about sex. I know I’ve just covered how to stop being judgmental in the last step, but I think it’s worth looking specifically at how to rewire the mind to stop being hung up about sex as it’s a problem so permissive within sufferers of retroactive jealousy. How do we rewire the mind in this way? This can be done by realizing the truths contained within the following sub-headings on a profound, subconscious level. Really take the following concepts on board, let them sink deep into your subconscious and you’ll feel your judgmental attitude about sex start to lift, and consequently your jealousy also.

THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD

If you want to get a real handle on your retroactive jealousy, you need to forget a lot of the nonsense we’re brought up to believe about human sexuality. Unless you’ve been brought up in a strict religious household, the only reason why you’re being so judgmental is because you’re buying into societal “norms” that tell us that men and (especially) women, shouldn’t “sleep around.”

Herein lies a big reason why you’re so disturbed by your partner’s past—you’re not seeing human sexuality in a clear, realistic, light.

This is why it doesn’t matter how many times your partner says, “I love you,” or, “the sex is so much better with you than with them,” because it’s the fact that they did these things in the first place that burns you up. This is pure, sanctimonious, judgment. You’ve somehow divided sex up into “good” acceptable sex—i.e. within a monogamous relationship—and “bad” unacceptable sex—i.e. casual sex with people your partner wasn’t in love with. By subconsciously viewing your partner’s sex life as “bad,” you’re actually viewing them in a negative light also—that of a promiscuous sexaholic who may leave you at the drop of a hat for the first Jennifer Lawrence or Boris Kodjoe look-a-like who comes their way. Which, of course, is all in your mind. In reality, you need to think of your partner’s past sexual encounters with their ex-sex buddies or one night stands as being just as valid and “normal” as with their ex-boy or girlfriend, husband or wife.

If you’re a guy, it’s important to realize that women love sex just as much as men. This whole concept of women not being allowed to have as much sex, or enjoy sex as much as men, is merely a societal construct.

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